Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
