We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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