i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
