she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I want a musical about memes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
