No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
