His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
