we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
