who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
