feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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