I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
