a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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