so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
