He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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