Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
