I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
