Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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