Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You ruined the universe
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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