Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
