Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
