Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
