just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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