addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
