Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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