trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize