yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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