In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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