you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
