Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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