was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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