i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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