Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
return my video game
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
