It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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