just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize