My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
