It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A+ Viking dick
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
