I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
