So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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