I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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