I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
