yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
