how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
