Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize