it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
