Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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