so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
