the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's blow job season.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
