i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize