Sponge bath it is.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
