stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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