I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
