Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
