He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
