Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
