Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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