Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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