He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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