You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
