Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
