well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
