oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
