just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
