Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
