My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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