Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
