I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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