no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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