If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
