she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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