Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
