Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
