This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Randomize
