dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
