how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
